There’s literally nothing I love more than a good sale, and it might be because I have a slight shopping addition, but I like to say (and tell my parents) that I’m financially savvy. So, twice a year when Sephora has their seasonal bonus discount, I’m happier than a white boy during The Masters. My beauty routine costs enough that I’ve contemplated selling feet pics on OnlyFans more than once (sorry Mom and Dad!), so safe to say, you know I’m taking advantage of this rare discount.

Sephora’s spring bonus offer started on April 1st for Rouge members, and starts April 5th for VIB and April 7th for Insiders, ending on April 11th for all parties. Still having trouble with what to order? I got you. So, that being said, here are the must-buy, Shut The F Up approved items from Sephora that should be added in your cart like, yesterday.

*Shut The F Up Pro Tip: Sephora Collection products are 30% off without any specific code or Sephora tier, so stock the fuck up on these. We recommend the Clean Eye Mask and Best Skin Ever Foundation.*

There’s literally nothing I love more than a good sale, and it might be because I have a slight shopping addition, but I like to say (and tell my parents) that I’m financially savvy. So, twice a year when Sephora has their seasonal bonus discount, I’m happier than a white boy during The Masters. My beauty routine costs enough that I’ve contemplated selling feet pics on OnlyFans more than once (sorry Mom and Dad!), so safe to say, you know I’m taking advantage of this rare discount.

Sephora’s spring bonus offer started on April 1st for Rouge members, and starts April 5th for VIB and April 7th for Insiders, ending on April 11th for all parties. Still having trouble with what to order? I got you. So, that being said, here are the must-buy, Shut The F Up approved items from Sephora that should be added in your cart like, yesterday.

*Shut The F Up Pro Tip: Sephora Collection products are 30% off without any specific code or Sephora tier, so stock the fuck up on these. We recommend the Clean Eye Mask and Best Skin Ever Foundation.*

1. Isle of Paradise Self-Tanning Drops ($42)

This product has been my secret weapon for over a year now, and I can’t say enough good things about it. First off, these tanning drops were developed to work with your unique skin tone to brighten, reduce redness and even tone so you can glow your own way.

Secondly, Isle of Paradise’s products are classified as ‘Clean at Sephora’, meaning that their products are formulated without certain ingredients that are harmful to human health and the environment. Good for us and Mother Earth? We love that. And, most importantly of all, their products give you a subtle, just-had-some-RNR, glow that we all wish we had 24/7. No need to FaceTune this face, babes!

2. Tan Luxe Illuminating Gradual Tan Lotion ($45)

 

This self-tanner is unreal and legit impossible to fuck up. Until a year ago, I hated using self-tanner because I thought I would make it look fake and streaking. This though, is different. You legitimately just put it on in a circular motion, like body lotion and go about your day. It always turns out even and natural-looking and you are looking like a glowing goddess.

3. Ouai Hair Oil ($39)

Everyone else may be an Olaplex Bonding Oil girly, but I guess I’m not like other girls. I love Ouai products because they smell delish, but also get the job done. This hair oil is no different- I love how it smoothes my flyaways and keeps my hair looking glossy like I’m a 2000’s Seventeen Magazine cover model.

 4. Briogeo Don’t Despair, Repair! Deep Conditioning Hair Mask ($49)

This product is my holy grail. No joke, I have repurchased this religiously. my hair just feels significantly healthier and smoother since I started using this. I like to put it in my hair on days I know my hair needs a good washing (re: it’s greasy) and leave it in a slicked-back bun while I work. Haircare but make it ~fashion~.

5. Dr. Dennis Gross Alpha Beta Universal Daily Peel Pads ($115)

Okay, so yes, these peel pads do cost the same as my grocery bill, which is why I always wait for when they’re giving out samples of them, or they’re a Sephora Reward, or of course, for the twice a year bonus offer to purchase them. Dr. Dennis (is there actually a Dr.Dennis?) knows what he’s talking about.

The only thing Dr. Dennis doesn’t know is how expensive these pads are because he recommends using them daily. But, if you’re a broke bitch on a budget, I recommend using them 2-3 times per week, and you’ll see a noticeable difference in the brightness of your skin. So, trust me, take advantage of the spring sale, and buy these.

6. Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask ($26)

If you have ears, I’m going to assume that you’ve heard of the Laneige Lip Sleeping Mask. What I can do is be here to vouch for it. I use this on my lips every night and wake up with luscious soft lips in the morning, ready for my boyfriend to kiss me. Even though it’s meant to be a sleeping mask, it also works great as a hydrating gloss for the day. It makes your lips look instantly moisturized and gives them a perfect subtle glow.

7. Fenty Beauty by Rihanna Gloss Bomb Universal Lip Luminizer ($18)

I am a slut when it comes to lip gloss. Ever since I was a little girl, I was collecting different types of Lip Smackers to give my 10-year-old self a little glossy glow. It’s a universally flattering and stunning gloss that will make your lips look irresistible for this weekend’s Hinge date. Not to mention, when you are making it out, it’s not sticky and won’t leave weird stains on your boy-toy.

8. Dyson Airwrap Styler ($700)

What would a Sephora sale article be without including the Dyson Air Wrap? If, for some wild reason you’re able to add this to your shopping cart, I have three words for you; JUST. DO. IT., I have frizzy, thick curly hair (shoutout to my Ashkenazi roots…literally), and this has CHANGED THE GAME. My hair looks fabbbb on the daily (but I always do), and I owe it all to my Air Wrap.

9. Kiehl’s Rare Earth Deep Pore Minimizing Cleansing Clay ($48)

Just like Snoop is an OG in the rap game, Kiehl’s is an OG in the skincare game. I have oily skin with pores bigger than Pamela Anderson’s tits, but the one thing that absolutely clears it all up is this clay mask. I have tried about 1000 types of charcoal or clay masks in my lifetime, and this one actually works.

It feels like you’re spreading toothpaste on your face, but after about 20 minutes, it dries and hardens, and I swear magic happens in that phase of the mask. When I rinse it off, my skin is soft, and supple, with zero traces of oil or my pores. I’m in love.

10. Urban Decay All-Nighter Long-Lasting Makeup Setting Spray ($42)

I’m pretty sure every girl knows the miracle product that is this setting spray, but I still had to put it on this list because it would be a crime against humanity not to. This amazing weightless spray keeps your make-up intact and fresh for up to 16 hours. And, let’s just say, I’ve had a few nights out and mornings after in my college days that could serve as Exhibit A to the effectiveness of this setting spray. But no one needs to hear those stories or see those photos.

So, disclaimer, everyone’s skin and preferences are different and what works for me and what I like may not work for you and you might not like. However, these are the products that have proved to be stand-outs, at least in my book. And as someone who will drop money shopping like Jack Harlow will in a strip club, I like to think I’m kind of credible. Maybe?

Images: Sephora