Some people have certain sayings that they love to follow / quote religiously. For example, my dad’s is “insanity is when you do the same thing over again and expect a different outcome”. My personal favourite saying, the mantra that gets me going every day is; “the devil works hard, but Kris Jenner works harder”, and the first few weeks of 2022 have been no different.
A lot has happened in the Kardashian universe lately, so let this article serve as your katch-up on the wonderful world of our favourite reality family.
October 2021 – January 2022: Kim and Pete
In October 2021, the universe exploded when Kim Kardashian hosted Saturday Night Live for the first time. Not only did she actually do a really good job, but her and unironic sex symbol Pete Davidson shared a kiss during a sketch as Princess Jasmine and Aladdin.
A month later, they were spotted holding hands at Knott’s Scary Farm, which truly is living up to its name, and then were spotted on back-to-back dates in New York City.
In the past three months, Pete was spotted with a giant hickey on his neck, they were spotted having breakfast at the Beverly Hills Hotel by a tourist, they went public on Flavor Flav’s Instagram, and then they went to the Bahamas together to ring in the New Year.
Stay calm everyone…it’s all happening!!!
December 2021 – January 3rd, 2022: Tristan Cheats…Again
A few months ago, nobody knew who Maralee Nichols was (tbh, I still don’t really), Khloe and Tristan appeared to be in happy and in love, and the pandemic seemed to be over. Oh, how short-lived that bliss was.
In December 2021, a personal trainer from Texas named Maralee Nichols publicly began claiming that she was pregnant with Tristan Thompson’s baby. Nichols claims that she met Tristan in March 2021 at a party during his birthday weekend in Houston, and they continued to see each other for a few more months. Tristan tried to deny this – because of course he did, he’s Tristan Thompson and why wouldn’t he – and stated that the only time he had sex with Nichols in 2021 was on his birthday, because she wanted to give him a birthday present (aka b-day sex).
That would have been all fine and dandy, except for the fact that Tristan and Khloe were VERY much together on his birthday in March 2021, meaning that he cheated on her…again. Shocking.
On January 3rd, (because literally no one can catch a break), Tristan took to his Instagram story to publicly admit that he had cheated on KoKo with Maralee. Tristan took a paternity test and admitted that he is in fact that father of Maralee’s baby. Thanks for the update, Captain fucking Obvious.
After publicly admitting to this on his Instagram story, Tristan then took a moment to apologize to Khloe for the “heartache and humiliation” he’s caused her over the years. I’m not a love expert by any means, but I feel like if you really want to win back the mother of your child and also your on and off girlfriend, you may want to do a bit more work than just posting a lame-ass apology on your Insta story. Idk though, just a suggestion.
January 2022: Kanye and Julia
If you thought a Kardashian update was going to leave out Kanye West, who do you think I am?
Just because he’s getting a divorce from Kim doesn’t mean that Kanye (or do we call him Ye now? I don’t know and I don’t really care). Kanye and actress Julia Fox were spotted together on a date in Miami on January 1, after meeting at his New Year’s Eve party. Their first date turned into a second date when they flew out to New York City to watch a Broadway play, followed by dinner at Italian restaurant Carbone, because, obviously.
At the restaurant, Kanye directed an entire photoshoot for his date while people dined. Julia Fox says that the whole restaurant loved it and cheered them on while it was happening, but they probably were just hoping that it would end so they could eat their spicy vodka rigatoni in peace. After dinner, Kanye had an entire hotel suite full of clothes (allegedly Balenciaga, but unconfirmed) waiting for her so she could play dress-up. Dinner at Carbone and a whole suite of clothes waiting for her after the second date? I’m lucky if the guy pays and calls me back after date #2.
You’re probably wondering how I know all of these oddly specific details about Julia and Kanye’s date night. It’s because she wrote a whole article about their “instant connection” for Interview magazine. A magazine feature after the second date is highly unusual, but so is everything else that Kanye is involved in. Julia swears this relationship isn’t a PR stunt…sure, Jan, sure.
This past week, Kanye and Julia were spotted out in Los Angeles where they ended up hanging out with Madonna, Floyd Mayweather, Antonio Brown and Evan Ross. Make it make sense.
Kanye also dropped a new song this week where he talks about all of the buzziest things going on in his life right now, including his new romance with Julia and Kim’s romance with Pete saying:
“God saved me from that crash,
just so I can beat Pete Davidson’s ass,
and my new bitch bad,
I know Illuminati mad.”
Same, Yeezy, same.
January 15, 2022: Chicago and Stormi’s B-Day Party
In a turn of events that will surprise literally no one, there was drama at Chicago West’s and Stormi’s joint birthday party yesterday.
On Saturday, January 15, Kim and her sister Kylie hosted a joint fourth birthday party for Chicago and Stormi, whose birthday fall on January 15 and February 1, respectively. Judging based off the Kardashian-Jenner clan Instagram stories, it was quite the event, where the theme was Barbie and LOL Dolls, complete with an enormous ball pit, a massive candy bar, and a bust of Stormi’s head.
The day got off to a bit of a rocky start though, when Chicago’s dad and resident musical jeen-yuhs, Kanye West, took to Instagram and claimed that he hadn’t received an invite to his daughter’s birthday party and that no one was giving him the address of the party. Kim claims that it was just a case of mixed messaging, because they had discussed hosting two parties for Chicago, with him hosting the second one after he picked her up.
However, it all seemed to have worked out in the end, as Kanye was seen in an Instagram story from the party that showed him talking to everyone’s fave momager, Kris Jenner.
After leaving the party, Kanye took to Instagram to update his followers on the situation – as he does – saying, “I’m so happy right now, I just came from Chicago’s party”. Kanye also shouted out his followers for the support, and Travis Scott for sending him the address, because apparently no one else would.
All’s well that ends well – ish.
Also, Kylie was spotted at the party looking as pregnant as ever. Earlier this week, a fake account claiming to be her nephew, Mason Disick, was posting on Instagram that Kylie had given birth to a son. She’s clearly still very pregnant, sooooo, there’s that.
If this is how the first two weeks of 2022 are starting for the Kardashian family, this year is going to be filled with lots of tea. I hope you’ve Kaught up on this week’s drama.
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